Nobody here but us chickens
It can’t have escaped anyone’s notice that there have been only tumbleweeds around here lately. I stopped posting abruptly back in the Spring because I was drowning in stress. Everything that was not essential was eliminated.
The stress wasn’t even any of the classic biggies – no illness, no death, no major changes – it was just too many stressors, too many major commitments. Well, and maybe one biggie that is never on the lists: facing the limitations and restrictions of my own personality.
The accumulating stress caused chronic insomnia – I didn’t get more than 6 hours of very broken sleep from April to June. Some nights I slept as little as one hour and somehow functioned the next day. Adrenaline is a crazy thing!
After I eliminated the external stress sources I went right back to sleeping (being able to dream again made me so happy!) and finally I’m looking around at all the non-essential but FUN things I dropped. I struggle with writing blog entries (if I could only mind-map or draw each one and post it like that!) but the results are so often worth the struggle. Not everyone I meet in my daily life likes to talk about art, paint, light, and color.
Which all leads to my point (really, it does!): I just read Gretchen Rubin’s The Happiness Project for about the third time. There are lots of things I take from this book but the one that pushed me to the keyboard this morning is this: Be Caroline. For months I have argued myself in circles about the point of my blog – what niche does it fill, what do I want to write about? – but I could not choose just one. And I come to the conclusion that since I often wander off down rabbit holes of curiosity, then so will my blog. Since I enjoy the challenge of figuring out how to get myself organized, stay on track and generally keep chaos from messing with my studio practice, then I will write about that too. I like focused blogs but I am not a single focus person. However, I promise not to muse about the contents of my sock drawer or what we had for dinner or my kids report cards (not that these things can’t be interesting, but they are not me), and I will try to stay somewhat close to the studio.
I can promise that works in progress and my studio practice, or the books I read and the images I see will definitely appear, and they will have no discernable order or pattern. Just like me really.